While the probability of you living longer increases significantly with good friends, the probability of you living a shorter life increases with fake friends. Fake friends can 'suck the life right out of you'. They come in different types and versions.
Good friendship increases our sense of belonging and purpose. It boosts happiness and reduces stress. But, the fake friendship will ruin your life. It is so important, as adults, that we accept that it is okay to have no close friends at certain times in our lives. Understand that you lose friends with time. If you have called a manipulative and toxic person your "best friend” for 20 years, it’s time to let your friend go, for your own good.
Before we delve deeper into the types of fake friends, let’s talk more about the types of friends in our lives. There are three categories of friends that you will encounter during your life:
These types of friends will inspire you all the time and they react positively to their surroundings. They are good “human beings” who will listen to you no matter what, and be beside you through "thick and thin". If you find one, cherish them, for the rest of your life.
You will meet hundreds of people in your life; in school, in the neighbourhood, at work... These friends may have known you for a long time. You may have a great conversation when you catch up with them. But, when the meeting is over, it's a long time until you speak again.
These friends are manipulative, slick and have a tank full of negative energy. They complain about everything around them, they spread gossip and do whatever to get what they want. You feel drained and discouraged after seeing them. This negatively affects your ideas, emotions and work. If you ended up with one, kick them 'to the curb'.
Loser friends can come with many different personalities. Locating one is not a difficult task. Here are a few of the types:
A relationship with this particular type of friend is often one-sided. The conversation will revolve around their problems and complaints, and they will use you to “dump” their emotional burden.
They will feed on your energy, money and time and will often try to force their opinion upon you. These fake friends have a victim mindset and will bully you into killing your success. You will feel emotionally drained after spending time with them.
This person is exceptionally calculative in any relationship. To them, it is all about how much you have given and taken from them. If the tally doesn’t match up, they will let you know. A loyal and trustworthy person they are not. They are devious to suit their needs. The calculator often gets joy in hurting others. Run, don't walk away!
Every relationship is based on giving and taking. The taker personality will try to always benefit from you. They will ask for help whenever they feel like it (needed or not), but you won’t find them around when you need them. Test them early in the relationship by asking for favours. If they are only takers, they will "show their true colors”.
Life to them is theatrical. They will often add “MASALA” to every bit of the story to make it enjoyable. They want your full attention to their story. Interestingly, their dramatic story will end with one person getting blamed. They are all about “ME! ME! And ME!”.
These types of people will initially be beside you in tough times. Yet, as soon as you become successful, you won’t find them clapping for you. They will secretly hate you no matter what and will put you down. Defamation of character is not beyond their scope.
These people are annoyed by the success of others. For example, if you say, “X has started a small business and started earning.” Your secret hater friend might reply, “X only made it because their Daddy bought them the business.”
Do you know that “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people”? Well, the gossiper type will first tell others’ secrets to you to gain your trust and then learn your secrets so that they can gossip about you later.
They are nature's pessimists, who always think of their own benefits. They think small/petty. Gossipers are the least productive people.
These friends are the most damaging kind. They are always opinionated and quick to judge. Their lives revolve around their problems. They are jealous of others, lack confidence and are entirely insecure.
The 'Trippers' laugh at others' expense in order to validate themselves and they show no remorse. No other fake friend types are as manipulative as the Guilt Tripper. They lack emotional maturity and always think to advance themselves from a selfish point of view.
Tearing you or your friends down, or never acknowledging your successes
Hates your advice because they don’t trust you. Have you ever felt angry when a stranger gave you a piece of advice? Why did you hate it? Because you didn't know them and they weren’t true to their heart.
Often start a petty argument just to win and feel good.
Bring hatred and invent competitions with you.
Imbalance of communication
Extremely sensitive to social status
Disappears often only to surface to use you.
Loves Bragging about things
Never listens to you.
Only nice to you when they need something
They 'use' you
Often uses this sentence: “If you are a true friend, then you will -------------- for me.”
Set limits: You don’t have control over the things that happen around you but, you have control over how you react to situations or others. So, set a boundary when dealing with them. Don’t get dragged into their problems.
Ignore, in some cases: Just don’t blatantly ignore them; Ignore them in public because they try to hide their revenge and retaliation; It is less likely they will be angered when ignored.
Don’t share secrets: Don’t share secrets with all your friends. Remember, not all are worthy to hear your secrets. You can have good friends with whom you never share your secrets.
Recognize and Ignore insults: Don’t always react to insults or jokes about you. Show emotional maturity and let things go. Your mental wellbeing is way more important than fighting back.
Often lies constantly: Fake and toxic people lie often. So let them drown in their own lies.
Don’t fall prey to pity: Toxic people will use all types of tricks to make you feel affinity with them. They will ambush you in your ego, sympathy and desire to be an excellent person. So, stand up for yourself.
Stand up to bullies: They like to bully weak, shy, and socially awkward people. So, place special attention on how someone treats others. If they are not nice and humane to their subordinates, they will likely bully you when their 'sweet talk' is over. Stand up to bullies.
Stay Aware of Emotions: Emotional distance requires emotional awareness; know when you hit your limits and don’t get triggered by their actions.
Focus on solutions, not problems: Don’t get tangled up in negative talks. Learn to disengage when it is necessary. Know that it is easy to blame others but hard to find solutions.
Your right to be happy: Don’t ever try to please someone always. If you failed to please someone once, trying 100 times to please them won’t work.
This will make you extremely discontent, void, and unhappy. So, take others' opinions with a grain of salt.
Never compare yourself with others. Instead, compare yourself to your previous self.
Most real people don’t have many friends.
It is lonely at the top.
Trust someone unless they give you a reason.
If someone is in a bad book, then erase them forever. If they ever get a chance, they will backstab you!
Don’t be blind in a relationship.
Actions speak louder than birds. Ummm? I think that's supposed to be words and not birds!
People Change; Change is the only 'constant'
You came into this world alone and you lwill eave it alone too.
Friendship and love are selfish things since we're just looking out for ourselves, because we don't want to be alone.
Self-reliance is cool.
If the relationship with your friend falls apart, don’t take it personally. Think like you and your friend have different sets of expectations and goals. If things go south, try to end the relationship on good terms. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in frustration or feelings of betrayal because you have better things to do. The skill of letting things go will help you in unimaginable ways to succeed and mindfulness.
We genuinely believe these five videos will help you find inner peace and ease your pain. We really hope you will slowly find your true self and blossom like a flower.
Video 1: People Share "Best Friend Betrayed Me" Stories (r/AskReddit)
Video 2: Successful People's Advice on Friends (Must Watch) | Motivation
Video 3: I don't have any friends.
Video 4: When People Realized Their "Best Friend" Was Never Actually Their Best Friend (r/AskReddit)
Video 5: People Leave Themselves A Voicemail To Check In 5 Years!